April 18, 2008

I know somehow that only when it is dark enough can you see the stars. - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

February 10, 2008

“If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered.”- Edgar Allan Poe
To forget is to lose a memory. Do not waste your time with things you will forget because in forgetting those moments that helped shape your life are no longer existent and time is not a luxury we have to throw away. The things we wish to forget are most often regrets and are the most important to remember.

February 7, 2008

America Can

16 Military Wives
The Decemberists

16 military wives
Thirty-two softly focused, brightly-colored eyes
Staring at the natural tan
Of thirty-two gently clenching, wrinkled little hands

Seventeen company men
Out of which only twelve will make it back again
Sergeant sends a letter to five military wives
His tears drip down from ten little eyes

Cheer them on to their rivals
Because America can
And America can't say no
And America does
If America says it's so
It's so
And the anchorperson on TV
Goes la-di-da-di-da

Fifteen celebrity minds
Leading their fifteen sordid, wretched, checkered lives
Will they find their solution in time?
Using fifteen pristine moderate liberal minds

Eighteen academy chairs
Out of which only seven really even care
Doling out a garland to five celebrity minds
They're humbly taken by surprise

Cheer them on to their rivals
Because America can
And America can't say no
And America does
If America says it's so
It's so
And the anchorperson on TV
Goes la-di-da-di-da-didi-didi-da

Fourteen cannibal kings
Wondering blithely what the dinner bell will bring
Fifteen celebrity minds
Served in a leafy bed of sixteen military wives

Cheer them on to their rivals
Because America can
And America can't say no
And America does
If America says it's so
It's so
And the anchorperson on TV
Goes la-di-da-di-da-didi-didi-da

Beautifully written song.

February 3, 2008

Unscheduled Fun

I was watching Chitty Chitty Bang Bang today when I had to leave to work off my debt (slowly but surely). I dread going to work more than I dread most things because of the spiteful rude people who yell and complain solely for the purpose of getting free food, the awful repulsive smell I come home with and the obnoxious mandatory standard responses I must say (very happily) to every.single.person who comes in. This Super Bowl Sunday, rather than spending the entertainment of the game with friends or family, I was at 54th Street. As I was standing very focused on the door waiting for my next change to jump out and shout hello to the next costumer, I heard a very loud sound from right behind me. I think I made a pretty abnormal sound/scream as I turned around to see a (very intoxicated) man charging at me at an exceptionally fast pace (the loud noise?... he tried to hit me but missed and hit the wood instead). After he trampled me I watched in shock (some of which was from the fact that I was capable of making such a horrendous sound) as he angrily jolted to his car and drove off quite aggressively (understand that I had never talked to or seen this man until this incident, later a woman came up asking me if he broke anything... he almost broke me) At last year’s Super Bowl I was at a friend of a friend’s house watching football and eating nachos with one of my childhood buddies who, over the years, has probably become the most opposite person from me possible (she and her friends do not find my (hilarious) sarcastic jokes humorous). The year before that I was at my friends boyfriends “Super Bowl party” (it consisted of us 3) and the year before that I was watching Janet Jackson expose herself with my pastor, his wife, and his children. This year, instead of nachos I ate potato soup as fast as possible in fear my manager would see me and all of the blue Sweet Tart Skittles from a humongous bag, instead of friends I spent most of my time with 100 people I didn’t know, instead of a couch I stood and watched the game through a glass and played tag with my coworkers. I received the phone numbers of two boys (I think they were around 10 years old), I bet on a very unrealistic final score (although the Giants won I still lost) and you mustn’t forget the bar fight I nearly lost. I was somewhere that I didn’t want to be yet I probably just experienced the most unforgettable Super Bowl of my life thus far. Some of the funniest people I have met have been introduced to me through forced conversations due to assigned seating arrangements and some of my favorite memories have been in the most boring classes. We are obligated to do things we don’t want to but it is in those times we have the most unexpected fun.

This is pretty cool http://youtube.com/watch?v=OIJtKxdRQzY
watch the whole thing... patience is a virtue

January 23, 2008

You're Just Not the Same Anymore


Ben Folds
Over The Hedge soundtrack

I must give the impression
That I have the answers for everything
You were so disappointed
To see me unravel so easily
It's only change
It's only everything I know
It's only change, and I'm only changing

You want something that's constant
And I only wanted to be me
But watch even the stars above
Things that seem still are still changing

In the midst of all of our making and breaking relationships we all pull out the same old pathetic but truthful line about how things are just not the way they used to be and how the changes were for the worse. I don’t know exactly where it came from (Cavewoman said it to Caveman when he just couldn’t find the mammoths the same anymore). It’s almost universal probably because it relates to all of us. Hey now, don’t jump to those hypocrite related comments you are murmuring to yourself yet, I know… I too (unfortunately) have used those words to describe my feeling… it just seemed like the ideal moment and they were the perfect words to go with it. No matter how much change happens to us, we never can learn that it will just happen again (we just keep running into the cars parked outside our garage no matter how many times we have gotten into trouble doing so). Although you won’t listen to me and will find yourself shocked when your best friend slowly starts to fade, I will make it simple for you so read carefully: Change is inevitable and will happen (yes, even to you). Somewhere in our minds there is something telling us that if we express how we feel, they will go back to the way they used to be, they will not. How can we ask our friends (or prior friends) to change or undo the change they have gone through? Our personalities are not created over night; they progress over time due to our experiences. If I were to keep my friends from first grade my hobbies would be gathering leaves into a play “house” of some sort, making kittens out of paper bags, and running around the soccer field in hopes the boy I liked would want me for my aggressive athletic attitude (he paid more attention to the game and never passed the ball to me, probably because I never could kick it quite correctly). Why should we act like who we used to be when it’s not us anymore… for old times’ sake? It’s not just others that have changed, we all have (some more drastically than others still prevalent to everyone) and reminiscing on the past will not change anything so make new friends that tend to your personality now and you can expect things to change eventually. To all that didn't read this: good luck with your search for a completely constant person (not real).

January 20, 2008

"Cars Hurt" (Tim Nixon, speech #5323)

Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things only hoped for. – Epicurus

I always find myself writing about the things on those “encouraging” posters found on every Liberty class room wall. “Your future starts now” or “Make your dreams come true!”, a more astatically pleasing way to portray the most fundamental life lessons. Although you will not find this on any poster because of its less than vigorous objective, I’m sure you have all heard it before but in some sort of context like “be happy with what you have”, it is much more complicated than that. I used (Past-tense) to run cross country, by all means I was not varsity but I did have some sort of strategy I used during races. At the crack of the gun (which is quite possibly the most repulsive sound I have ever heard) I would “start out fast but not too fast, start out slow but not too slow” (Nixon, speech #3492), in other words, I would try and find a good place somewhere within the front half of the pushing, shoving, spiking, crowd. By the next fourth of a mile I would have found my pace for the race and stick to it until mile 3. Mile 3 was the most difficult, but because I had stayed at a constant speed during the prior 2 miles I was in a bit more shape than the other girls I was around (the third mile is not for the faint of heart to run or watch, most are on the verge of collapse or explosion) I could speed up the slightest bit and pass at least 10 girls. Life is like a race (life can be like just about anything). We have been taught since we were young that we need to be always striving for something better, we need to be running every mile like it’s the third. Let me tell you, that third mile cannot be run as effectively if mile 1 and 2 are not constant. Although ambition and dissatisfaction are necessary, there are times when contentment is also very important.

If thou covetest riches, ask not but for contentment, which is an immense treasure. –Gulistan

January 18, 2008

Edit; Undo

A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he ways yesterday. -Jonathan Swift

I have been driving for a year and I have never had any problems. No tickets no accidents, one time I hit the side of my garage costing me one of my mirrors but my dad could fix that one. Last Saturday while I was coming out of the garage, I hit my mom’s car… hard. My wheels were out of alignment and there were some sort of plastic/metal/cord hanging from my mangled mirror (the one I didn’t take off before). I gave my mother’s car a nice dent (for personality) and a long scratch to go with it. That is a $500 deductible. Four days later, I (and a cop) found myself speeding in a school zone (that’s 50 dollars on top of the original ticket cost). $150 speeding ticket which was probably long overdue. So this morning I was leaving for school in my mom’s car, because mine is getting fixed, and I hit my dad’s truck. Wow, that deserves a recap; I hit my mom’s car with my car, hit my dad’s car with my mom’s car, and got an expensive speeding ticket all in one week. How does that happen? Now, I am sure there is a way to make this into some sort of really meaningful metaphor but I will leave that up to your own creativity. Although I am in quite a bit of debt (my pride is in so much pain that I will not reject donations and that was a joke, maybe if I hit my house in the next few days), I will always look behind me before backing up. Regret is the most excruciating, pointless feeling. As cliche as that sounds, we learn through mistakes and they are a part of life. Too much time is spent pondering what we could have done or what we could have said that we miss out on a lot of time we could have to improve. What I am really saying is never back up without checking all angles for other cars or objects.

Dear Moms and Pops

This was not in any way justification for my many small catastrophes. I fully understand the magnitude of my actions (or actions that did not take place such as looking diagonal from my car... twice).

Any man can make mistakes, but only an idiot persists in his error. -Cicero